Hey peeps (: Sorreh haven't been updating for quite awhile~ Created a new blog on tumblr so might be neglecting this account even more if that's possible ;P Yeap anyway the link's here: TUMBLR
haha yea so might wanna check it out if you have the time (: Well anyway today's post is gonna be a little weird >< ahahaha I'm feeling a little random and these thoughts have been floating around in my head all week nao so I decided I can't hold it in anymore :/

Well as some people know, my church has a stand that youths should not date below the age of 19 and I as a leader know better than to break it or go against it. In some ways too I feel that it is a logical path to take y'know, focusing on your studies, serving God and realizing your talents, things like that. Indeed, I agree with those points, besides I admit that I'm emotionally too immature to start dating too so the relationship probably wouldn't last.

However logic and rationalization alone just don't cut it, there's still my emotions to think about :/ I've always prided myself on being a "mind over heart" kind of guy, relying on logic to make my decisions. However, fact is a fact, I'm 16 years old, in the middle of my raging hormones I desire things. Whenever I look around me, there is always an abundance of young couples about, and I feel something burn in my heart. No matter how much someone tells me that dating now is a foolish thing to do, I just yearn for someone to love. I don't mean that God isn't enough, but I'm talking about something more physical. I want to be able to feel the touch of a girl's hand, to taste the lips on her mouth, to truly look her in the eyes and tell her that I love her and know I mean it with all my heart. I want to talk to her as equals and be more open and authentic than I can be with my friends or family or even cell. This is probably some naive talk from someone without experience of having a relationship, but this is exactly why it appeals so much to me. People just naturally yearn for things that is "forbidden". Now I can sort of understand why Eve ate the forbidden fruit from the garden.

Ultimately though, I know that no matter how desirable it seems, no matter how much I yearn for it, I just want God to know that all my life is in His hands. May He reign in my life as He see fit because He redeemed my life and now I belong to Him. Even though I may not understand everything now, but I know that in His own time, everything will be clear and He will be the author of my love story. May it be the most beautiful love story ever written and Nicholas Sparks will hold no candle against it xD Hence Lord, I lay my future partner into Your hands and I trust that You will honor me even as I honor You, thank You (: